Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize