Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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