my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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