Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
