what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
