Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
