But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
