But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
P.S. I can't hear my feet
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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