dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize