there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
