A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
