Having a random hookup so left but love u
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize