I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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