ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
