Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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