Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
