I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We need to rekindle our bromance
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
