you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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