Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
God, I missed his penis.
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