in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
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