dude i'm inner monologue high
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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