i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
