you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
