I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
