Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
