We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
