Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
