Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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