YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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