nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
