It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize