First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my shit smells like andre
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
