That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He passed out mid-signature
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
