Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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