No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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