Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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