I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize