its not stalking. its research.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
