Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
