i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
