At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
