then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
