i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
