its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
