if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
