so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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