You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
