What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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