U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
vagina is talking i cant
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we're making bets on your personal life
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
