I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i barfeds in our rink
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
