also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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