forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
