wat bout pragnant strippers??
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize