i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
