she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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