i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
