when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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