walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
