its not stalking. its research.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
