Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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