Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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