does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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